Does everything taste better slathered in barbecue sauce? Yes. Is everything bigger in Texas? Probably, I don’t know. I’m going to break down how to prepare this vegan BBQ plate. The focal point is the BBQ tempeh, but I’ll briefly go over the other stuff too. I didn’t have any pickled red onion or refried beans ready, forgive me. I also didn’t have one of those cool serving trays, but I did drink a lone star!

Tempeh is strange. But it’s cool, especially slathered in BBQ sauce.

BBQ TEMPEH PLATE

prep time: 15 minutes
cook time: 55 minutes

If you don’t have Lone Star on deck, Shiner makes just as fine a substitute.

What you’ll need:

one brick of tempeh (as pictured below)
olive oil
salt, pepper, nutmeg, cumin, garlic powder, paprika
dry rub (I used Trader Joe’s coffee/garlic rub)
liquid smoke
barbecue sauce (again, I used Trader Joe’s)

The goal is to take this goofy looking thing and make it look like the picture up there!

Preheat your oven to 315°. Grab a plate and lay that brick of tempeh down on it. Toss a little olive oil on it and coat it as evenly as possible. We’re gonna rub this baby down with all kinds of spices and then toss it in the oven.

After you’ve moistened your tempeh with olive oil, add a little bit of liquid smoke to it too. These will both help your dry rub stick to the tempeh. Moist. You can mix your spices in a bowl and then rub the tempeh down or apply directly. I applied directly. Add around a teaspoon of everything except the dry rub.

Now you’re going to add a generous amount of dry rub to the tempeh. Eventually you will sear your cooked tempeh in the pan and this will make it nice and crisp on the outside.

I wasn’t kidding, you really wanna lay the rub on thick.

After your tempeh is completely coated and your oven is at temperature, throw it onto a slightly oiled baking pan for 45 minutes.

This is a weird picture. See you in 45 minutes!

While your tempeh is cooking, you can clean up and prepare your sides. I used spicy pickles, seared kale and broccoli, and mac & cheese. Vegan cheese.

Obviously the focal point here is the tempeh and you can prepare whatever sides you would like, but I had 45 minutes to kill while the tempeh cooked so here’s what I came up with.

What you’ll need (for the mac):

mac & cheese
bread crumbs
paprika
vegan butter
some kind of milk
nutritional yeast

Get a pot out and boil some water. You’re going to make your mac in there. Follow the directions on whatever mac you’re using. I’ll do a for-realsies mac recipe eventually but until then, for this I used Annie’s.

What you’ll need (for the other stuff)

pickles
kale
maple syrup
cayenne pepper
olive oil
broccoli
liquid smoke

For the kale, toss it in an oiled pan with a little bit of maple and cayenne pepper. After it’s slightly crispy, put it in a dish. Hopefully your mac is cooked by now. I added miyoko’s butter and nutritional yeast into the mix. Once your mac is finished, put it in some kind of oven-safe pot. You can keep it warm in the 315° temperature oven while we move on. I didn’t include pictures of the sides process because OPTIONAL!

In the same pan you made your kale in, throw broccoli in there. I sauced it with a little bit of the liquid smoke from earlier. Once that’s done, add it to another dish.

Then take some pickles and put those in another dish.

Assuming it’s been around 45 minutes, your tempeh should be nice and baked.

Wipe out the pan you’ve been using. Without burning yourself. Add a tablespoon of olive oil into the pan and turn the flame up to medium high. This next part is tricky because you want to sear but without burning the living shit out of the tempeh.

Apply your barbecue sauce directly onto the tempeh. Take a brush and spread it on there as evenly as you can. The dry rub should stay put.

Put the tempeh into the pan and it should start to sear fairly immediately. Continue to apply barbecue sauce as it dries out. Flip it and repeat the process. You don’t want the crust of the tempeh to get stuck to the pan!

Keep a close eye so you don’t lose your crust.

Do this a couple of times until your brick of tempeh looks charred on the outside. Using preferably a metal spatula, get that thing out of the pan and put it back on the baking sheet to rest for a second.

While your tempeh is wondering what hit it, your mac is still in the oven. Again, it’s optional but I like to add a little bit of bread crumbs, miyoko’s butter and paprika directly on top and toss it back in the oven for a quick 3-4 minute broil. Keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn’t burn.

Now you can put your optional mac in a dish and put it with the kale, broccoli and pickles.

I put the tempeh right onto a cutting board to serve because I didn’t have one of those cool serving trays.

Feel free to add more barbecue sauce and have some paper towels ready.

Now cut the brick down into even strips and open another Lone Star.