You ever use vegan shrimp? They’re strange. But they’re kinda cool. You can get them at Asian supermarkets. If you pick some up, give this a shot.

As always, if you dig the recipe, tag me at @draggedthroughthegarden on instagram and we can talk about getting lost in the sauce.

Shrimpless Fettuccine Alfredo. You can omit the shrimp completely if you want to. But still I think they’re cool.

SHRIMPLESS FETTUCCINE ALFREDO

prep time: 20 minutes
cook time: 40 minutes

How many words can you think of that rhyme with “roux”?

This recipe isn’t too difficult, but it requires a fair amount of multitasking. You’re going to start by cooking the vegan shrimp if you’ve got them, making a sauce, getting your pasta ready and then tying it all together.

First, you will cook the vegan shrimp that you found.

What you’ll need:

those vegan shrimp you found
olive oil
vegan butter
salt
pepper

Defrost those weird vegan shrimp if need be. Oil a pan and leave it on medium heat. Once the pan is at temperature, add the strange vegan shrimps into the pan. You don’t want to overcook them, just kinda soften them up.

Add a chunk of vegan butter to the pan along with salt and pepper. Don’t be conservative with the butter because this recipe is 3/4 butter.

Feel the shrimp things and see that they’re cooked but not burnt. Transfer them into a bowl for now and come back to them later.

Next, you’re going to put your sauce together and boil your fettuccine. You’re going to prepare a roux and then blend together some other stuff. There aren’t cashews in this recipe. To simplify, I’ll break it up into two sections of sauce.

Also, I’m gonna stop using the word vegan now.

What you’ll need:

a pot of boiling water
fettuccine
salt

Bring your pot of water to a boil and salt it. Add your fettuccine and allow it to cook while your make your sauce. The pasta should take about 13-15 minutes so check on it periodically to make sure you don’t overcook it.

If the fettuccine don’t fit, you must acquit!

Now for your sauce! First section will be your main ingredients and the second will be the cream.

What you’ll need:

olive oil
garlic
onion
butter
apple cider vinegar
lemon
vegan parm (fine, one more time)
dried basil
dried oregano
soy milk
salt
pepper
a blender

Mince up some garlic and dice down an onion. Wipe your pan from earlier and turn the flame back up to medium with some oil. Use lots of garlic. Garlic is good.

Add your garlic and onion into the pan and stir quickly to make sure nothing burns. Add another chunk of vegan butter into the pan. Then toss some salt and pepper in there too. Then add dried basil and dried oregano.

Take the contents of your pan and transfer it all into a blender.

Grate down a block of parm. Like the whole thing. I used the violife kind. Grate some lemon zest right in there with the parm. You can add lemon juice too for extra acidity. Add all of that to the blender too. Toss a little olive oil in there along with some butter and two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar. This is so your blades don’t get caked with parm and other stuff. And to keep your acidity in check. Once that’s blended, set it aside for now.

This will eventually get added to the roux you’re going to make next.

Now you’re going to assemble your sauce, starting with the roux. Then you will add warm soy milk little by little and then finish by adding the contents of your blender.

What you’ll need:

the contents of your blender
butter
soy milk
oat flour (I’m sure other flours will suffice but this is what I had)
a microwave

Warm up your pan and throw a big thing of vegan butter in there. To reiterate, this recipe uses lots of butter. Get out your oat flour or whatever kind of bougie flour you have and sift it into a bowl. Always, always sift so if doesn’t get clumpy and difficult to break down.

While your butter is beginning to melt down, add some of your oat flour into the pan and stir. You will add the flour little by little to prevent clumping. Use about half of your flour and keep stirring. Once it blended nicely, up the flame to about medium high.

Now you have a roux!

Next, you’re going add warm soy milk to the pan and turn it into a white sauce. Or a béchamel if you want to keep using fancy words.

Put a cup of soy milk into a container and microwave it for 45 seconds. You’re going to warm it up and then add half of it into the pan, again so it doesn’t get clumpy. Keep stirring!

Now take the remainder of your flour and add that into the pan while stirring. Add the second half cup of soy milk into the pan. Take your blender contents from earlier and add that right into your new mixture. Stir that up and drop the flame low and let it simmer for a minute.

Béchamel - ooh la la! Your blender full of garlic, onion, parm and whatever else gets mixed right into the pan.

Check on your pasta again and see if it is cooked properly. If so, throw it in a strainer but save a little bit of that precious pasta water. Throw the pasta back into the pot you cooked it in and then add a little olive oil and the big ol’ sauce you just made. Give it a good stir so nothing sticks to the bottom of the pan. Let your pasta sit for a second and then the last step will be chopping down fresh herbs and adding your shrimp.

So creeeeeamy and THICC. — So creeeeeamy and **THICC**.

What you’ll need:

fresh parsley
fresh oregano
those weird shrimp things

You can use dried for either, but fresh is best.

Remove them from the stems and chop them both up super fine. Like real fine. Once you do that, add it right into your pasta and mix it up. Add your shrimp and mix that up too.

Putting the herb in herbivorous. — Putting the *herb* in *herbivorous*.

Now observe as those weird shrimp things get lost in the sauce.

Give it a good stir and kill the flame. Serve immediately! This will leave you with quite a bit of fettuccine alfredo. I hope you like carbs!