The Breaded Pork Tenderloin, aka the culinary pride & joy of Indiana…aka the funniest looking sandwich of all time. Tenderized and fried with either oyster crackers, ritz or saltines; topped comically with, in juxtaposition, a very small brioche hat. For this recipe, I use saltines.

If you dig this recipe, share it with all of your friends, enemies and the cool food accounts you follow on Instagram and tag me at @draggedthroughthegarden to tell me what you think about small bread hats and giant schnitzels.

The Vegan Indiana Tenderloin. Hoosier Daddy.

VEGAN INDIANA TENDERLOIN

prep time: 15 minutes
cook time: 25 minutes

I mean look at that fucking thing. Do yourself a favor and google this sandwich if you’ve never heard of it.

In order to put this monstrosity together, you will defrost three gardein scallopini patties and season them liberally and mold them all together. Yes, for one sandwich. In lieu of breadcrumbs, you’re going to put at least a half sleeve of saltines in a bag and crush them into a coarse-ground version of themselves. After assembling a batter/flour/crumb station, you will then submerge this large Midwestern disc of gluttony into piping hot oil for a while before putting condiments and a small bread hat on it.

Ope, that was a lot so let’s break this down.
To start, the patty.

What you’ll need:

gardein scallopini (at least three of them)
salt
pepper
smoked paprika
garlic powder
onion powder
dried thyme

Once your patties are defrosted, mold them together on some parchment paper so you don’t make a huge mess and then place another sheet of parchment on top. Flatten your triple-patty abomination as flat as you can with a rolling pin (or cast iron or bottle of wine) and lift off the top paper and set it aside.

I did end up going flatter and wider than this but for the sake of photo.

Now that you’ve extended the circumference of your patty, season it with the aforementioned seasonings I mentioned up there. I used around a tablespoon of each and massaged it into every crevice I could find. Put your other sheet of parchment back on top and stick this thing in the freezer while you prep the rest of your big tendy.

Next, everything else.

As stated previously, you can use either saltines, oyster crackers, ritz or whatever else they bread stuff with in Indiana to fry this sandwich. Stick your crackers of choice in a bag and smash them if you haven’t already. Don’t over-crush them though.

What you’ll need:

the bag of crushed saltines
flour
corn starch
the same seasonings from earlier
just egg
oat milk
apple cider vinegar
vegetable oil

Here is what your battering station will look like.

Note: Because your patty is now very large, make sure to use large bowls/plates to coat it. After a bit of time in the freezer, it should maintain its shape without falling apart on you.

In one bowl, add 2 parts oat milk to 1 part apple cider vinegar. Then throw a big splash of just egg in there too. Add salt and pepper and give this mixture a light stirring.

In another bowl, add one part flour to one part corn starch. Then throw a little bit of each of the seasonings from earlier in there as well. Give that a quick whisk.

And for the saltine crumbs, put them on a plate and it will probably make your life easier. Add a little salt and pepper to the crumbs.

In a wide pan, add about an inch of oil so your patty can swim comfortably. You want the oil to be at 400° (or even a touch higher) because when you add this thing, it will drop the temperature of the oil.

Next, get your giant hoosier patty out of the freezer and add it to the dry flour mixture. Be sure to coat it as thoroughly as possible. Very carefully, lift it and coat it in the wet mixture. Even more carefully, set it in the crumb mixture and coat it just as throughly as you have been.

And you should have something like this.

As soon as your oil is up to temp, gently place your breaded frisbee in the oil and agitate slightly so it doesn’t stick to the bottom or sides of the pan. You will have to move quickly from the saltines to the oil so your patty doesn’t completely defrost and fall apart. Also make sure you have a wire racked baking sheet ready.

Fry each side for about 10-12 minutes. Keep an eye on it so it doesn’t break apart or burn to a crisp. Use two sets of tongs to flip this thing and I promise it will be much easier.

Now that this large fried 12” record is cooked out, use your tongs and set it on the wire rack to cool. Give it about 10 minutes and you can assemble the sandwich aspects in the meantime.

And finally, assembling your sandwich.

What you’ll need:

buns (I used potato roll)
pickles
mayo
mustard
a tiny bit of lettuce
vegan butter
onion
a sense of humor

Get your buns out and lightly toast them. Set them aside and brush them with a little vegan butter. Add mayo and mustard to the toasted sides. Cut a few rings off an onion and throw those on there. Add some pickles on top of a very small amount of lettuce.

And done! Oh wait, we have to add the giant fried thing still.

Add your giant fried thing atop the onion side and put the other bun on top. Now I’m only showing you how to make this thing, not how to eat it.

I hope you dig this recipe and I hope you share it with all of your friends. Tag me on instagram and tag all those other big name food pages too so they see this and think “why did he add a bun?”