The Famous Bowl. Please refer to the Patton Oswalt bit on Famous Bowls for a full synopsis.

As always, if you dig this recipe, tag me at @draggedthroughthegarden on instagram and we can talk about gluttony.

The Vegan Famous Bowl. It’s…sigh.

THE VEGAN FAMOUS BOWL

prep time: 25 minutes
cook time: 60 minutes

Just look at it.

This recipe requires you to mash up some potatoes, fry a bunch of oyster mushrooms, make a gravy and not count calories for a day.

To start, you’re going to get your potatoes going.

What you’ll need:

gold potatoes
olive oil
salt
vegan butter
garlic
vegan creamer

Peel your potatoes. For this recipe I used eight but made two bowls. Once you have all your potatoes peeled, put them in a bowl and take a nice picture of them.

Next, you’re going to cut them into smaller chunks for optimum mashing. You can put them back in the bowl right after.

Next, you’re going to cook your potatoes. For this recipe, I used a pressure cooker. A pot with boiling water works fine but I do recommend the pressure cooker method.

Add your potatoes to the pressure cooker for 20 minutes and let that do its thing. Have them set to manual release, which will take about ten minutes. After a half hour, they should be good to go. While these are cooking you can move on to the oyster mushroom portion of the recipe below!

Toss the potatoes back into the bowl and add a generous amount of vegan butter and a splash of vegan creamer. Using a hand mixer, mix up the potatoes until you achieve a very pleasing whipped texture. In a pan, toss four cloves of garlic in over medium heat. You want to lightly toast the garlic and then you can mince two of them directly into your mashed potatoes. The other two are for later.

This is the most pleasing picture I will ever post within a recipe.

After your potatoes are mashed proper, we can switch over to the fried oyster mushroom step of this recipe. I hope you like seasonings.

What you’ll need:

oyster mushrooms
salt
pepper
garlic powder
onion powder
smoked paprika
dried thyme
dried oregano
dried ground mustard

Cut the stems off of the oyster mushrooms. Keep in mind that these should result in nugget shape/size. Give them a rinse and dry them off. Stick them in a bowl. Add a half a tablespoon of each of the seasonings listed above.

Next, you’re going to compile the components to fry these bad boys up. You will use the same seasonings again, but now with a few extra things.

What you’ll need:

the seasoned oyster mushrooms
all of the above seasonings
all purpose flour
corn meal
canola oil
oat milk (or comparable)
apple cider vinegar

Now that you have one bowl of seasoned oyster mushrooms, you’re going to get a few other bowls going. In one bowl, add a cup of oat milk and a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar. This will function as your buttermilk.

In a separate bowl, add a cup and a half of flour and a quarter cup of corn meal. Add a tablespoon of each of the aforementioned seasonings directly into the flour mixture.

In a small pot or shallow pan, add enough canola oil to fry the oyster mushrooms little by little. In the pot I used, it was about half a cup.

Bring the flame up to medium low. If you have a thermometer, the temperature I fried them at was 200°F.

This shot isn’t as good as the garlic and potato one.

Take an oyster mushroom and dredge it in the buttermilk mixture. Shake off excess and then toss in the flour and coat evenly. If you wish, you can shake off the excess flour and dunk in the buttermilk and then the flour again. This will give you super crispy nuggies. Optional, but worthwhile.

Do this to all of your oyster mushrooms and then add them into the oil 3-4 at a time depending on how large they are. You don’t want to overcrowd the pot/pan.

Swim little oyster mushroom, swim! Sometimes they circle the pan and it’s fun to watch.

When the oyster mushroom is cooked in the oil, it will appear golden brown. Remove them and stick them on a sheet to dry on. Continue this process until you’re out of mushrooms. When the process is done, turn off your flame and move the pan off of the heat.

Some of these were eaten for the sake of R&D.

Next, you’re going to whip up a quick gravy and finish the whole thing off.

What you’ll need:

vegetable broth
salt
pepper
the other two roasted garlic cloves from earlier
onion (optional)
sweet corn
vegan shredded cheese (whatever flavors you have, use them all)

Now if you want, you can use a premade vegan gravy. But otherwise…

Add two cups of vegetable broth into a sauce pan. If you want to include an onion, dice that up first and then add it to the pan. THEN the broth. Mince your garlic into the broth. Bring the broth up to a boil and then reduce the flame. Sieve half a cup of flour into the gravy. Use a sieve to prevent clumping! Let the gravy simmer out and thicken up.

Once your gravy is gravy-like, pour it into a gravy boat or a measuring cup or something. Next get out your sweet corn. From a can assumably. Drain the corn and rinse it off. Throw some of it in a microwaveable container and nuke them for about 35 seconds. Get out your vegan shredded cheese as well.

In a bowl that you plan on eating out of, add your potatoes. Then add your oyster mushrooms

It looks good enough to eat. But wait! There’s even more!

Add whatever vegan cheese you have on top of the mushrooms. Then if you want, you can microwave the whole bowl for a minute to melt the cheese down some. Next, in a reckless fashion, add your gravy and your sweet corn. Then once you do that, it’s time to set aside your morals.

Add a little more cheese if you want because nothing is sacred.