The Vegan Horseshoe. Hailing from Springfield, IL — this open-faced, cardiologist’s nightmare consists of two hamburger patties topped with French fries slathered in zingy beer cheese. All the while assembled upon a boxspring foundation of Texas toast and indigestion.

As always, if you dig this recipe, tag me at @draggedthroughthegarden on instagram and we can talk about IBS.

The Vegan Horseshoe. Discourse for some, delicacy for others!

vegan open faced sandwich with fries and cheese — THE VEGAN HORSESHOE

prep time: 5 minutes
cook time: 30 minutes

Not pictured: a fork and knife.

So what you’re gonna do here is toast up some thicc-cut white bread, whip up a few burger patties and a bunch of fries. Then you’re going to make a roux-based cheese sauce to slather the whole mess with.

But actually we’re gonna knock out the cheese sauce first.

What you’ll need:

vegan butter
olive oil
all purpose flour
vegan cheddar
beer (NA is fine)
salt
pepper
dried mustard
frank’s hot sauce
vegan worcestershire
oat milk

Get out a small pot and add a little olive oil and a big fat knob of butter over medium heat.

Once your butter melts down, sieve in a tablespoon of flour and whisk like crazy.

Now you have a roux. And with that, you’re going to add half a bag of vegan cheddar cheese. If you have a block of vegan cheddar, grate that in there. I didn’t have a block.

Now bring up the heat to medium high and continue to stir that up so that the cheese can melt and become homogenous. As your sauce will thicken quickly, counter the thiccness by slowly streaming a light beer of your choice into the mix. While continuing to stir.

Once your sauce is smooth, introduce that second half of cheese into the mix. Continue adding beer to ensure maximum smoothness. You’ll likely use one full 12oz can. Throw a pinch of salt and pepper into the sauce. Add another pinch of dried mustard. Add a splash of vegan worcestershire

Whisk that up and throw a generous splash of frank’s into the pot. Bring up the heat a touch and whisk vigorously to ensure nothing burns or sticks to the bottom of the pot.

Kill the heat once your mixture is smooth and transfer into a measuring cup…or something that you can pour cheese sauce out of.

Now that you have a cheese sauce, it’s time to make fries according to their package.

What you’ll need:

frozen French fries in a bag (preferably crinkle cut)

Cook your fries however the package recommends you do so. Or in a foil-lined air fryer at 400˚ for six minutes. Pause the timer, shake up the bin and then continue air-frying for six more minutes.

While your fries are going we can start the burgers…and then the bread.

What you’ll need:

plant based burger patties
salt
pepper
garlic powder
onion powder
cayenne pepper
smoked paprika
vegetable oil
white bread (uncut loaf preferably)
vegan mayo
garlic

Of course, you can use a seasoning blend if you prefer that.

Get out a cast iron skillet or your favorite non-cast iron burger pan. Throw a thin layer of oil in there to coat the bottom of the pan. Season your burgers thoroughly. Add your burgers to the pan and resist the urge to make them into smashburgers. Cook for a few minutes on each side, careful not to disrupt any maillard reaction.

It’s a little blurry because I was humbled by some very hot oil.

Once your burgers look like burgers, pop them out of the pan onto a plate to rest. Hit with salt and pepper immediately. Turn off the flame on that skillet.

Cut your loaf of bread into thick slices if it isn’t cut already. Everything you’ve made thus far will be supported by these slices of bread, no pressure. Hit each side of your sliced bread with mayo. Yes, mayo. You can use butter if you want.

Wipe out the pan with a paper towel once it has cooled down. Bring the flame back up to medium and put your bread in the pan.

I obviously half-assed the paper towel job.

Repeat this for one more slice of bread and maybe a few extras in case you accidentally burn one like I did. Set aside.

Peel a fat clove of garlic. Gently rub the clove onto the toasted bread as if you want it to gently remind you later that you gently rubbed it with garlic.

Grab a big plate. Throw two pieces of toast down side by side, then add your burger patties.

Resist the urge to turn this into a very dry sandwich.

Now add a whole bunch of fries on top of the aforementioned.

Still looks pretty dry. Some cheese should probably fix that.

And for your next trick, stream your measuring cup full of cheese atop the fries.

Eat immediately so your cheese doesn’t turn everything into a soggy mess.

If you enjoyed this recipe, tag me on Instagram @draggedthroughthegarden and share it with a friend. Share it with every cardiologist south of Peoria. Share it with someone who says open-faced sandwiches do not qualify as sandwiches. Then share it with that person’s parents.